Superman and I live in a beautiful home. Sometimes I walk in the front door and look around and can't believe how lucky I am. I know that sounds materialistic but I was a single mom for 12 years. I watched all of my friends get married, have babies and build their dream homes. And no, I wasn't jealous. I can honestly say that I am happy for them. I knew that one day the RIGHT guy would come into my life and all good things would happen for me.
But lately, with the bad economy and hearing on the news about lay offs to come and oil prices falling and recessions and depressions, I've been really worried. On Planet Vernal companies are folding, people are losing their jobs and in my neighborhood alone, I have watched four families move out of their dream homes because their income has dried up.
So far, SM and I have been lucky, we are making ends meet but we honestly don't know from one week to the next how long he will have a job. And it's not like we can just pull up stakes and move to a new job in a new city cuz things are rough ALL OVER.
Last fall, Superman's father underwent a major heart bypass surgery. We almost lost him. SM's brother also underwent the same procedure a couple years ago and he is still a young guy. Superman is almost 47 years old. He doesn't eat healthy and he works in a very physical, high stress job. Add to that the stress of providing for me and the kids and the man is a walking time bomb. I am not so naive as to think it can't happen to us.
This has been weighing heavily on my mind over the last few months. I worry for my love's health and his peace of mind. I'm coming to the realization that having the nice home and driving the nice car does not bring security. I don't feel any safer. I don't worry about money any less. In fact, I think this house is nothing but a constant reminder to my super hero that his job is never done.
I've decided that it all comes down to sacrifice. Sacrificing the material in exchange for the spiritual. Giving up my home that when we moved in I thought was perfect for our family. Even though it makes me sad, at the same time I can't help but think what a relief it will be to unload that sucker and have a rent payment that is half of what we are currently paying.
Having come to a decision, Superman and I have been scouring the newspapers, checking online and making phone calls. I can't believe the rent people are charging for sub par housing these days. It seems like everybody is trying to make a buck. But I am ready to do this. Honestly, I can't wait. We have put in some applications on some rentals and, fingers crossed, there is a certain one that, yes, it's older, a little smelly and has really bad carpets. But it has a beautiful fenced yard, a lovely field at the back, a perfect spot for a garden and it's in a quiet safe neighborhood. I am PRAYING we get it. It's small and humble and wonderful.
I see good things on our horizon. I see us able to shirk off our material possessions and enjoy life more. I see a smile on Superman's face when he comes home from work instead of worry and fatigue. I see him healthy and stress free. I see us paying off debt and putting money aside for our little slice of heaven in Brisbane. I think it's a worthy goal. I think its worth any sacrifice.
I would so much appreciate your prayers and good wishes that we get this little rental house. We'll have a BBQ to celebrate and you're all invited! We'll burn candles and maybe the carpets to get the smell out (ha ha) and hopefully you'll see a new me, a new us. Someone who is looking forward to all the good things the future has in store for us. And I know that when it's all said and done, it won't feel so much like a sacrifice but more like a blessing. A sense of real peace and joy. In this world, what more could I ask for?
1 comment:
We just did the same thing! We sold our big nice new house in Sept. and bought a 1970's rambler. Some days I wonder what we've gotten ourselves into here with all the remodeling we are trying to do, but thanks to you I am again reminded why we made the sacrifice. I am grateful that J hasn't had to work an hour of overtime this year, and even though I have peach walls and berber carpet, freedom rocks! I think you are making the right decision. Isn't it funny how you can hear things like "bigger isn't always better," and "don't let yourself be house poor" and we still never get it? If your anything like me you have to learn the hard way. But isn't that what life is all about? Living and Learning. love you.
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