Balancing Act

Superman is 47 years old today! This past year has been a real test for us. Between the kids and the economy and moving AGAIN, things have been crazy! I've been up and down and all around and I don't know how he's held on for the ride.

I have never been in a true partnership with someone I love and it's been an eye opening experience for me. In the past, whether it was my parents, or my friends or myself, there is always one thing that seems to tip the scales towards unhappiness, divorce, affairs, whatever. Most of the time it's money, sometimes it's other things but Superman and I seem to be able to BALANCE. Just when I feel like I'm sliding toward the abyss he takes on a little bit more of me and puts things right again. He truly is my hero.

The truth is, I used to dream there was someone out there who could just LOVE me. Someone who could make light of my moods and set me straight without making me feel crazy or stupid. Someone who can make me smile through my tears. Someone who makes me feel beautiful even when I have morning breath and my mascara is smeared. I used to WISH with my whole heart that whatever guy I was with could live up to this ideal I had conjured in my head and they never could.

So I gave up. I was over thirty, my daughter was about to become a teenager and showing her independence and I decided that if that perfect man wasn't out there then I would just be alone. I would never settle. And then there he was.

And no, he's not perfect. But he's perfect for me. He BALANCES me. He lifts me when I'm dipping too low and brings me back to earth when I'm flying out of control. He really listens to what I'm saying and he tries to understand me. Just the fact that he TRIES is enough for me.

I don't know why he fell in love with me. I truly don't. I can be demanding and moody. My thoughts are always rushing ahead and usually my mouth is going right along with it but he slows me down. He calms my soul and helps me to see that there is more to life than just the World According to Me. I can't believe he's still by my side after all this time and he shows no signs that I'm wearing him down.

Baby, for your birthday I wanted to take you to Paris and show you paintings by Gauguin. I wanted to fly you to Rome and show you sculpture by Michelangelo. I wanted to hike to the top of Peruvian mountains and show you lost worlds and I wanted to watch the sun set from the beaches of Tahiti while we hold hands and sip our Pama on the rocks. I would if I could, my love. I hope that someday I can. Because the world is what you have given to me. You have opened my eyes to joy and life and love. What could I possibly give you in return?

All I have is me, my love. And you have me, all of me, heart and soul. Happy Birthday.