One Shining Moment

7 am Saturday morning. Superman and I are just lying in bed. Kids are still asleep and not knocking on our door. No television blaring the Disney channel from the next room. No dog to be let out. No chores yet to do. Just the two of us in each others arms, cozy under the covers on a cool Fall morning. The sun is just coming up and the room is just shadows and quiet.

We don't talk about the bills that need to be paid. We don't talk about work. We don't talk about the kids or the stuff that needs to be done before we leave town later that day. Sometimes we don't talk about anything at all, we just doze. But on this day, for whatever reason, Superman asks about some experience from my past and I just start talking. And it's just so good to talk and I don't feel afraid or embarrassed in his arms. Just whispering really, as his questions guide me through my story. Every once in awhile he plants a kiss on my forehead or I run my hand along his shoulder and I feel so safe. I think this is what they mean by "soul mates" because as we whisper, it seems that we are both feeling the same emotion, sharing the same experience.

The next time we get a chance like this, it may be me asking the questions and him doing the telling and we will laugh together and sigh together and sometimes even cry but the overall feeling of our stolen moment is bliss. This is when we shine. This time together is our reminder of how much we mean to each other. This is when we get to know each other better and even after years of togetherness there seems to still be so much to learn. And usually, just before the kids start yelling at each other or the dog starts barking, we fall asleep holding on to each other, feeling so loved.

Once we get up, all the other stuff comes crashing back in, get the car packed, take the dog to the kennel, fix breakfast, yell at the kids to GET OFF THE COUCH!! TURN OFF THE TV!!! WE HAVE TO GO!!! and Superman is irritating me because he's decided the car HAS to be washed before we go and the clock is ticking and we are behind schedule and then...I walk back into my bedroom and I see the rumpled sheets and I remember our moment...our shining moment...and I take a deep breath and I feel calm and happy and all of a sudden none of that other stuff seems important.

We get in the car and are FINALLY on the road and I'm smiling to myself as I think back on our morning together and I look over at Superman and he smiles back cuz he knows what I'm thinking about. The two of us store our moment away so that tomorrow we can take it back out when we are stressed out at work or the kids call cuz they've forgotten their lunch money and that memory will hold us, keep us sane, until a few days or weeks or months when we get our moment again.

I remember when I was 15 years old, I was sweeping the floor that separated the restaurant from the convenience store where I worked and this old couple walked out of the restaurant. The old woman was holding on to her husband's arm for support and they could only walk at a slow pace. When they got to the door, they noticed it was raining outside. I waited impatiently while the woman dug her rain bonnet out of her purse and started to put it over her hair. Her husband turned her so that she was facing him and proceeded to straighten the bonnet on her head and I stood there, mesmerized as he lovingly tied the bonnet under her chin. She just stared at him with this look of pure adoration. She radiated happiness. When he was done he looked into her eyes and gave her the most beautiful smile. Then he took her hand and the two of them walked out the door. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't even notice I was there.

I was completely blown away. I couldn't stop thinking about them. They LOVED each other so much and I remember thinking, I will never settle for anything less than that. I will never marry a man unless he can LOVE me and look at me that way even while doing something as insignificant as helping me tie my rain bonnet. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

And I know that they didn't spend every minute of every day just adoring one another. I'm sure they had bills to pay and grandkids driving them crazy and they have probably shared unimaginable grief and countless life experiences. She probably can't stand that he leaves toothpaste in the sink and he might hate the way she poaches his eggs but they STILL have their moments, those times when they simply shine. I was lucky enough to witness just one of those moments. I know now, that is what makes the difference between "as long as we can make it work" and "FOREVER".

I hope that 10, 20, 30 years from now we will never be too busy or too stressed out to spend an hour or two just lying in bed whispering to each other. That we will never run out of stories to share or kisses to give. I hope that when things get crazy we will have our moments to remind each other how much we care.

I just want to remind the people I love, especially Sydney and PC, who will be getting married soon, to always adore one another and take the time to let everything go for a few hours, just to get to know one another again. Tell each other the story again of how you met because even though you swear you know it by heart, he will share some part of that moment that will only make it richer and more precious. But most important, don't forget the little things...never ever be in too much of a hurry to stop and tie her rain bonnet. It's in those insignificant moments that we shine.