New Zealand Nan

The girls "Nan" came over from New Zealand on a church tour a couple of weeks ago. She hasn't seen them in over two years so we made a special trip up to Salt Lake City to spend some time with her. Isn't she adorable? The little lady in the pink on the right is her friend and they were both absolutely lovely. She has the cutest Maori accent and is SO FUNNY. Her and her friend told stories, caught us up on the gossip and giggled like little girls the whole time.

I was really worried that things would be awkward, with her being Superman's EX Mum-in-law and all but it really wasn't. I loved that she introduced him as her son to all of her friends and that he still calls her Mum. He was quite touched and it made me proud that she still admires and loves him so much. He will always be her son and that just shows you how much grace and class this fabulous woman has.

Nan was so happy to see her girls. She couldn't believe how much they've grown and changed. She couldn't get over how much B2 looked like her mom and that LT is as tall as she is (which wasn't much of a stretch cuz Nan is SO TINY). The girls doted on their Nan and were overjoyed to see her.

It was an evening full of smiles and laughter and the time went by much too fast. She left the next morning for VEGAS BABY! (just the thought of those two tearing it up in Vegas makes me giggle) and then on to L.A. and then back to NZ. My only regret is that we didn't have more time with her. Maybe someday we can bring her over to Planet Vernal and then the girls won't have to share her with the church tour.

She really was a fantastic lady. Every wonderful thing the girls told me about her was true and then some. We can't wait until the big wedding in Australia to see her again.

My Kind of Man

OK! In case you haven't noticed, I've been a little depressed lately. Between the loss of my cat and the much too quickly impending loss of my little tomato, my blog has been a bit...weepy? So here's a little something just to lighten up the place a bit.

Hee Hee! He's gonna kill me but DAMN! THAT'S JUST TOO CUTE!!

Sorry Baby! I LOVE YOU!

Little Tomato Turns 11!!

I can't believe it. Our Little Tomato is 11 years old. When she came to stay with us, I never dreamed that she would spend a third birthday on Planet Vernal. She is such a miracle and brings me unending joy.

LT is so sweet and so so FUNNY! Oh my gosh, this kid can make me LAUGH! And she's GROWN so much since she's been here. She's almost as tall as me and wears the same size shoe. It's been so much fun to watch her change from a little girl into an almost young woman. She LOVES clothes and the color purple. She loves to dance, she loves to read and she's so SMART! Math is her favorite subject.

LT LOVES animals. She loves Animal Planet. She LOVES her cats and she has great empathy and compassion for anything hurt or wounded. I am worried that she will be some crazy cat lady when she grows up because she won't turn anything away.

The most important people in LT's life right now are her older sisters. She absolutely idolizes them and she tries to imitate EVERYTHING they do and say. Her sister Sydney, in Australia is an almost mythic figure in her life. All she has to do is hear Sydney's voice on the phone and she just radiates happiness. Anything Sydney says, does, likes, dislikes, loves instantly becomes gospel to LT.

And LT LOVES her daddy. He is her super hero. The righter of all her wrongs. She is constantly seeking his approval and almost always gets it. If daddy is happy, she is happy.

Our little tomato will be leaving us in February to go back to New Zealand and spend time with her mother. I know her mother must miss her very much but I still find myself praying that God will find SOME WAY for her to stay even though I know it's for purely selfish reasons. But my heart is breaking. I've been in denial that this moment would ever come and now it's getting closer and closer and I am almost desperate at the thought. I don't know if I can bear to part with her. I don't know how I can ever let her go.

LT, you are my sunshine. You are my slice of heaven here on earth. I have grown to love you more than I ever thought possible. I NEED you to know this. I NEED you to remember that here in this place, in our home, YOU ARE SO VERY LOVED. And we need your sunshine in our life every moment. We can't live without you. And my hope is that our time apart will be very short and that sometime in the near future we can figure out a way for you to be with us and still be able to spend all the time you want with your mum. Everyone wants you, everyone wants to be around you, everyone wants to stand in your light.

My fear is that you will forget me. That I will dim in the glow of your mommy's love. That you will doubt my love for you. PLEASE DON'T FORGET!!! It is OK to love me and your mommy too. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't ever feel like you have to choose. You are the daughter of your mommy and daddy by God and you are my daughter by heart. And I am SO PROUD of you. You are a wonderful person and such a good girl and I am so blessed to know you and help raise you and I can't wait to see who you turn out to be. February will be here too soon. Please don't forget me. I will still be here whenever you need me and I will always always love you.

Sometimes you just gotta let 'em BE

THIS is my precious girl, IZ. This pic was taken when she was 14 and she had just begun to test the bounderies of her individuality and personal style. She had just cut off her waist length, gorgeous red locks, thrown away the last pink hued article of clothing she would EVER wear and had decided that she wanted to be a punk rock star, stage name: Izzie Sparx.

I am totally cool with this. If my parents had spent less time trying to mold me into the person they thought I should be and spent more time just letting me BE then maybe I wouldn't have rebelled so hard. And then again maybe not. Who's to say? But I am proud that my girl has the courage to be who she wants and doesn't really care what other people think.

And then...

I picked my daughter up after a night spent with her friends and THIS is what I got. OMG and all that is holy WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR????!!!! Seriously People, I may have hyperventilated and then I cried. Yes. That is a Mohawk. Not a Faux Hawk. Not a wig. Not a Ha Ha, Just joking, I wish you could've seen the look on your face... A MOHAWK!!!!

And I thought I was so cool. So open-minded. I have a tattoo. I listen to cool music. I AM WITH IT, MAN! And I actually LIKE Mohawks. Just on other people. Not my baby. Not my precious little pumpkin who used to sing "It's our problem free ill oss a bee, acuma matata" at the top of her lungs.

Ok OK! It doesn't look that bad. And I am getting used to it. And IZ LOVES IT! And that is what is important but I guess what is really bugging me the most.... Iz and I have always had this special connection, this THING, this acceptance of one another, this ability to just let each other be and for one minute I became another person, this MOM that I hate! You know, the kind that won't let their kids play with the neighbors because their father rides a motorcycle and the mother smokes cigarettes. The kind that pulls their children to the other side of the sidewalk and shields their eyes when a gay couple comes strolling by.

ALRIGHT! I'm not that BAD!!! But how far is it before I cross that line. How far from "Making my daughter feel like shit because she got a Mohawk" to "You won't be listening to the devil's music in this house!"

I guess my point is this: IZ, I didn't mean it! I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I didn't mean to make you think I hated it, cuz seriously...you could shave your head bald and tattoo your face and I would still think you were the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth. And I don't EVER want you to be ANYONE other than WHO YOU ARE! And I want you to continue to test your boundaries and explore your world and try absolutely EVERYTHING! And I LOVE YOU, no matter what! NO MATTER WHAT!

And your hair will always grow back...right?

One Shining Moment

7 am Saturday morning. Superman and I are just lying in bed. Kids are still asleep and not knocking on our door. No television blaring the Disney channel from the next room. No dog to be let out. No chores yet to do. Just the two of us in each others arms, cozy under the covers on a cool Fall morning. The sun is just coming up and the room is just shadows and quiet.

We don't talk about the bills that need to be paid. We don't talk about work. We don't talk about the kids or the stuff that needs to be done before we leave town later that day. Sometimes we don't talk about anything at all, we just doze. But on this day, for whatever reason, Superman asks about some experience from my past and I just start talking. And it's just so good to talk and I don't feel afraid or embarrassed in his arms. Just whispering really, as his questions guide me through my story. Every once in awhile he plants a kiss on my forehead or I run my hand along his shoulder and I feel so safe. I think this is what they mean by "soul mates" because as we whisper, it seems that we are both feeling the same emotion, sharing the same experience.

The next time we get a chance like this, it may be me asking the questions and him doing the telling and we will laugh together and sigh together and sometimes even cry but the overall feeling of our stolen moment is bliss. This is when we shine. This time together is our reminder of how much we mean to each other. This is when we get to know each other better and even after years of togetherness there seems to still be so much to learn. And usually, just before the kids start yelling at each other or the dog starts barking, we fall asleep holding on to each other, feeling so loved.

Once we get up, all the other stuff comes crashing back in, get the car packed, take the dog to the kennel, fix breakfast, yell at the kids to GET OFF THE COUCH!! TURN OFF THE TV!!! WE HAVE TO GO!!! and Superman is irritating me because he's decided the car HAS to be washed before we go and the clock is ticking and we are behind schedule and then...I walk back into my bedroom and I see the rumpled sheets and I remember our moment...our shining moment...and I take a deep breath and I feel calm and happy and all of a sudden none of that other stuff seems important.

We get in the car and are FINALLY on the road and I'm smiling to myself as I think back on our morning together and I look over at Superman and he smiles back cuz he knows what I'm thinking about. The two of us store our moment away so that tomorrow we can take it back out when we are stressed out at work or the kids call cuz they've forgotten their lunch money and that memory will hold us, keep us sane, until a few days or weeks or months when we get our moment again.

I remember when I was 15 years old, I was sweeping the floor that separated the restaurant from the convenience store where I worked and this old couple walked out of the restaurant. The old woman was holding on to her husband's arm for support and they could only walk at a slow pace. When they got to the door, they noticed it was raining outside. I waited impatiently while the woman dug her rain bonnet out of her purse and started to put it over her hair. Her husband turned her so that she was facing him and proceeded to straighten the bonnet on her head and I stood there, mesmerized as he lovingly tied the bonnet under her chin. She just stared at him with this look of pure adoration. She radiated happiness. When he was done he looked into her eyes and gave her the most beautiful smile. Then he took her hand and the two of them walked out the door. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't even notice I was there.

I was completely blown away. I couldn't stop thinking about them. They LOVED each other so much and I remember thinking, I will never settle for anything less than that. I will never marry a man unless he can LOVE me and look at me that way even while doing something as insignificant as helping me tie my rain bonnet. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

And I know that they didn't spend every minute of every day just adoring one another. I'm sure they had bills to pay and grandkids driving them crazy and they have probably shared unimaginable grief and countless life experiences. She probably can't stand that he leaves toothpaste in the sink and he might hate the way she poaches his eggs but they STILL have their moments, those times when they simply shine. I was lucky enough to witness just one of those moments. I know now, that is what makes the difference between "as long as we can make it work" and "FOREVER".

I hope that 10, 20, 30 years from now we will never be too busy or too stressed out to spend an hour or two just lying in bed whispering to each other. That we will never run out of stories to share or kisses to give. I hope that when things get crazy we will have our moments to remind each other how much we care.

I just want to remind the people I love, especially Sydney and PC, who will be getting married soon, to always adore one another and take the time to let everything go for a few hours, just to get to know one another again. Tell each other the story again of how you met because even though you swear you know it by heart, he will share some part of that moment that will only make it richer and more precious. But most important, don't forget the little things...never ever be in too much of a hurry to stop and tie her rain bonnet. It's in those insignificant moments that we shine.

Dog Breath, Paw Prints, Slobber Kisses and Love at First Sight

Shortly after moving to Planet Vernal, Superman and I were traveling home after visiting our parents when we started discussing what kind of dog we wanted to get. I told him that my dream dog was an English Bulldog. I've wanted one for years and told myself that should I ever become a homeowner, I was going to get me one. $2500 price tag be damned! And seriously....isn't this the cutest damn thing you've ever seen?

Well, it turns out Superman wasn't much interested in the flat-nose, drooly, fat and grunting type. His favorite dog is a Corgie. Umm...I don't know...maybe it's cuz he's from New Zealand and Her Majesty, the Queen keeps Corgies but this is NOT the dog I pictured my Superman wanting. Then again, he knows from experience what great kids they make because he has owned two of them. And I had to admit...they are cute as buttons but I ask you to refer again to the picture above...I mean, come on...That's FREAKING ADORABLE!!!

Obviously a compromise is what was needed at this point and we started naming off dogs that we would consider in the place of our dream doggies, when I said "You know what would be really cool? A Great Dane! Well, my Superman just lit up and he said that he would LOVE to have a Great Dane. So we decided that Monday morning I would hop on the internet and start looking around for info and breeders and costs.

Not 30 minutes later we pull into a gas station for snacks and Superman says "PalagiGirl, look at the car next to us." I turn to my right and staring me straight in the face, so close I could have kissed them are two HUGE Great Danes. Are you kidding me? If that is not a sign from heaven, people, I don't know what is! We talked to the owner and asked her about their eating habits, their temperaments, how much they poop, how good they are while traveling, etc. Then she let us go with her to take them for a walk. By the time we got back to the car, we were head over heels in love with them.

On Monday morning, I started looking online for breeders and was not having much luck when the wife of my co-worker popped in to pick up her hubby for lunch. She saw the Great Danes on my computer and when I told her that I was looking, she says "Are you going to buy one from the breeders in Dinosaur?" My jaw just dropped! THERE IS A GREAT DANE BREEDER 20 MINUTES AWAY! My Superman didn't believe me when I told him. We drove straight there and they had ONE puppy left, ONE! That puppy was CLEO, our baby! We knew she was ours the minute we saw her. The stars had aligned and we could not ignore it. We bought her on the spot.

Now I ask you, have you ever seen any dog who is more beautiful? I am not biased, my friends, there is NO OTHER dog who is as gorgeous and sweet natured and gentle and loving as my baby girl, Cleo.

Cleo is a house dog. She loves to be where we are at all times. She LOVES her walks and she can wrestle the kids like a pro. I have never seen her snappy, I have never heard her growl and aside from her tail, which is like a giant whip, she wouldn't hurt a fly. When we moved into our new house, she wouldn't go up the stairs until we chased her up with the vacuum cleaner. Yes, our 150 pound baby is scared of the vacuum.

Cleo's favorite thing in the world is riding in the car. She can take a 4 hour trip without so much as a wimper. Before I got my Expedition she would either sit on the seat with the kids or on the floor at their feet but when I got my sunroof there was only ONE spot she wanted to be. This is what I look like driving down the street on Planet Vernal. If I don't open the sunroof for her she will butt her head against it until I do. Nothing like making a spectacle of myself and we literally stop traffic. The little kids just go crazy when they see her.

This is a picture of Cleo's gigantic lips blowing in the breeze as we are driving down the road. Believe it or not she has never slobbered on me yet. (I know you are all thanking me for that visual.)

What can I say except that to know her is to love her. She is so gentle, she loves kids, she loves hugs, she loves bones, she loves to wrestle and RUN! Our girl can run like the wind! She really really wants to make friends with the cats and even though they don't want anything to do with her, she just keeps trying.

She's scared to death of heights, stairs, vacuums, stores (trying to get her into Petsmart one day, she sat on her butt, planted her feet and there was NO MOVING her) but she can't wait to get into the vets office, go figure.

Even with her faults, she is the perfect dog, the perfect friend. She completes our family. I wouldn't trade all of the inconveniences and difficulties of having a big dog for anything. No dog could ever be as wonderful.

So one last shot, I know this post is "hella long" but too bad, it's my blog. This is my nephew and Cleo. He too has fallen victim to her charms. And this picture was just too too sweet not to show off.

Greetings from Planet Vernal

Welcome Earthlings! Just a quick visual tour of this strange and wonderful planet that I have managed to land myself and my family on. There really is no place in the universe quite like it. The creatures are strange, the people are stranger. We live two minutes from red rock and searing desert in one direction and mountain lakes, quaking aspens and bubbling streams in the opposite direction. It is BEAUTIFUL here any direction you turn.

In case it has escaped your attention, we live in the heart of Dinosaurland. Dinosaurs are everywhere on Planet Vernal including a rather large T-Rex in the center of town who insists on changing his outfit for every holiday. His fashion sense is...well...it tends to be a bit ridiculous. The cupid wings and bow and arrow he carries around in February are just downright poor taste. But he has a good personality and we citizens of Planet Vernal allow him his little eccentricities. It probably helps that he is rather large and has a mouthful of pointy sharp teeth. But I've had the opportunity to be around him for a few years now and I really think that if I insulted his fashion style he would probably just burst into tears and I would feel like an asshole. So Rexy Baby...if you're reading this...I love ya...bunny ears at Easter and all.

Please don't be alarmed! Rexy is not bearing down on my niece and nephew to gobble them up! I asked him repeatedly to step out of the shot but every time I would snap the picture he would jump back into frame. As you can see, he thought this was quite hysterical but my nephew and I were just annoyed with him.

This place is called Jone's Hole. It's a fish hatchery at the end of one of the most spectacular scenic drives I have ever taken. I took a truckload of pics. I wish I could post them all.

This is looking down into the "hole" for which it was named. The green clearing at the bottom is the actual hatchery and just beyond it is a hiking trail along the river. It is green, peaceful and one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. As you drive in, there are sheer rock cliffs with waterfalls, cedar and pine trees and breathtaking views.

Below is a pic of the girls taking a breather on the trail. We had the best time down here but I think my favorite part was when Superman almost stepped on a snake while taking a pee break and screamed like a woman. (Fun fact: there are no snakes in New Zealand. I think snakes may be his kryptonite.)

These are petroglyphs done by the Fremont Indians about 8,000 years ago. (Impressive, huh?) These were taken in Nine Mile Canyon, which is stretch of dirt road that is actually about 70 miles (ahem...after hours of driving out of this place, I'm thinking they should really think about a new name). But it's definitely worth the drive.

We drove down into high rock walls on every side and the writing was EVERYWHERE you looked. It was really amazing. But the cool thing was, it was really, really quiet down there. Like eerie quiet. You felt like you were being watched the whole time and there was NO ONE down there but us. And just to up the creepy factor, we put my Great Dane, Cleo, on her leash and my baby LOVES her walks but as we stepped into the cliffs, she FREAKED OUT! She pulled right out of her collar and ran back to the car and no matter what we did, she would not get out. It was really weird. I'm sure she sensed something we didn't but being oblivious to what was probably the spirits of Native American warrior guardians or something equally bad, we just wandered around down there for hours. Thankfully, we got out of there with no rocks falling on our heads or rattlesnakes in our path or any other revenge the Fremont's might want to inflict. But the place practically screams at you to tread lightly, show respect and just stand in awe and that's exactly what we did.

As for the native people of Planet Vernal, you will never meet a more eclectic and fun planet of people in your life. After growing up in a place actually nicknamed "Happy Valley", which by the way is predominately Mormon (this is not a bad thing), coming to Planet Vernal was a bit of a culture shock. Where I came from, the people you worked with, hung out with, did business with were the people you went to church with. And people you didn't go to church with, you didn't really know. But here, everybody knows everybody and not one person has ever asked me if I'm L.D.S. NOT ONE! Cuz they don't care. Everybody is friendly and happy, the gossip is fantastic, the BBQ's are frequent, every afternoon is beer-thirty, the funny never stops and nobody cares where you come from, what you do for a living or how much money you have. This is the only place I've ever lived where you can't tell the millionaires apart from the middle class. On Planet Vernal, you can go to a party and never even know that the man you've spent all night hanging out with just sold a plot of land down the road for 5 millions dollars, cuz seriously...nobody cares. On Planet Vernal, everybody is equal, everybody gets a second chance if they do something stupid and everybody is just "good people".

So I would encourage you all to come visit us. It's truly a remarkable place. You won't regret it. Bring your mountain bikes or rent a river raft in the summer and I promise you will see sights you never thought you'd ever see or even existed.

And don't forget to say hi to Rexy before you go!