Prayers Needed

Asking for your thoughts and prayers for friends and family in Samoa. So far there have been two deaths associated with family that we know of and we are hoping there will be no more bad news. My heart and deepest sympathy goes out to Rick, Lavon and Alana.

We have yet to hear anything concrete as the news has been very slow to report for obvious reasons. The latest I heard was 111 dead with the toll expected to rise. There were 4 tsunami waves that hit one after the other that were 15 to 20 feet high and reached over a mile inland. Whole villages and cars were swept out to sea. This was caused by an 8.3 magnitude earthquake in the ocean south of the Samoan islands that witnesses claim shook the islands for up to 5 minutes.

All the land lines are down. There have been a few people who have been able to get out with cellular phones and Internet but for the most part it has been impossible to reach family and loved ones. We are not even sure exactly what areas were hit. We know Pago Pago was hit hard as well as Apia but that is all the news is reporting.

Please pray they are able to get aid organized quickly and rescue efforts are well underway. Please pray that the death toll stays relatively small although 111 is already too high. Please send out a special prayer that Superman's family and loved ones were able to reach safety and that the damage in their area was minimal.

UPDATE***

If you live in Utah, you can go into any Zions Bank and tell them you wish to donate to the Samoan Relief Fund and 100% of the proceeds will go to help the families in Samoa.
If you do not live in Utah, go to www.fox13now.com and they will have the donation information. Any donation, no matter how small would be appreciated.

Balancing Act

Superman is 47 years old today! This past year has been a real test for us. Between the kids and the economy and moving AGAIN, things have been crazy! I've been up and down and all around and I don't know how he's held on for the ride.

I have never been in a true partnership with someone I love and it's been an eye opening experience for me. In the past, whether it was my parents, or my friends or myself, there is always one thing that seems to tip the scales towards unhappiness, divorce, affairs, whatever. Most of the time it's money, sometimes it's other things but Superman and I seem to be able to BALANCE. Just when I feel like I'm sliding toward the abyss he takes on a little bit more of me and puts things right again. He truly is my hero.

The truth is, I used to dream there was someone out there who could just LOVE me. Someone who could make light of my moods and set me straight without making me feel crazy or stupid. Someone who can make me smile through my tears. Someone who makes me feel beautiful even when I have morning breath and my mascara is smeared. I used to WISH with my whole heart that whatever guy I was with could live up to this ideal I had conjured in my head and they never could.

So I gave up. I was over thirty, my daughter was about to become a teenager and showing her independence and I decided that if that perfect man wasn't out there then I would just be alone. I would never settle. And then there he was.

And no, he's not perfect. But he's perfect for me. He BALANCES me. He lifts me when I'm dipping too low and brings me back to earth when I'm flying out of control. He really listens to what I'm saying and he tries to understand me. Just the fact that he TRIES is enough for me.

I don't know why he fell in love with me. I truly don't. I can be demanding and moody. My thoughts are always rushing ahead and usually my mouth is going right along with it but he slows me down. He calms my soul and helps me to see that there is more to life than just the World According to Me. I can't believe he's still by my side after all this time and he shows no signs that I'm wearing him down.

Baby, for your birthday I wanted to take you to Paris and show you paintings by Gauguin. I wanted to fly you to Rome and show you sculpture by Michelangelo. I wanted to hike to the top of Peruvian mountains and show you lost worlds and I wanted to watch the sun set from the beaches of Tahiti while we hold hands and sip our Pama on the rocks. I would if I could, my love. I hope that someday I can. Because the world is what you have given to me. You have opened my eyes to joy and life and love. What could I possibly give you in return?

All I have is me, my love. And you have me, all of me, heart and soul. Happy Birthday.

OOPS!

I was going for strawberry blonde...

I'm thinking that maybe the blonde part didn't work cuz it sat in my bathroom cupboard for...oh, I'd say maybe...two years?

So...this is what I got. The picture doesn't do it justice. It's kinda neon. My kids and their friends think it's pretty cool. Superman loves it. I think it's that whole "other woman" fantasy that men have. Or... maybe it's the "prostitute" fantasy. Whatever, he's diggin' it.

But I'm just not sure. It's been a week and I keep thinking I'll recolor but I'm afraid I'm going to get something worse. Or I'll go bald. (sigh)

So here it is... let me know what you think. Do I deal with it or do I attempt to fix it?

In other news...

Some of you were wondering whatever happened to my baby girl's daddy trying to contact her on her myspace account. You remember, the post where I was completely FREAKING OUT! Well, I took your advice. IZ and I had a good talk about things and she also read my post and your comments, which helped out a ton and she sent her sperm donor (harsh) back a message and we waited. And waited. And waited.

Every once in awhile I would ask IZ if she heard anything and then one day she checked and his myspace account had been removed. Just like that. When I asked her how she felt about it her answer was that she didn't really care. But I think she did care. And I think it hurt her.

Me? I was relieved. But a part of me was angry. You just don't DO THAT! You don't suddenly poke your head out and say "Here I am! Look at me!" And then just as suddenly disappear. Not when it's the feelings of a young teenager at stake. I guess I didn't expect anything different. And neither did she but I think she was HOPING.

I don't know what he was thinking but what I want to believe is maybe he got scared. Maybe, just maybe, the part of him that is capable of being honorable knew that deep down he would screw it up and he didn't want to do that to her. Maybe. Or maybe he was just being a total &*%#head. Unfortunately, that's probably closer to the truth.

What I KNOW is that IZ is LOVED. DEEPLY LOVED. Not just by me but by Superman and her grandparents and her many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. I need her to know that she is surrounded 24/7 by LOVE. And that she is beautiful and magical and talented and kind. She doesn't need her father around to know WHO SHE IS! It's reflected back at her by the people she has in her life.

As for the rest of my girls, things are great. School started a couple weeks ago and so far, so good. LT is in middle school, which means her first locker and switching classes and feeling oh-so-grownup. She is loving it. Stella got her driver's license over the summer and I am so loving being able to send her to the store or to pick up IZ and LT when they need a ride. And she started playing tennis for her school and has been on way too many road trips to count. She's having a ball.

Superman has been working out of town quite a bit lately. I really hate having him gone but he IS Working, which is more than I can say for a lot of people out here. We count our blessings no matter how they are packaged.

It is getting colder on Planet Vernal. We get thunderstorms almost everyday. Last night was a real light show and me and the girls turned out all the lights, snuggled on the couch with the dogs and just watched the storm. It was AWESOME! One of those moments that I wish I could record so I could take it out every once in a while and replay.

I really can't ask for more right now. My cup is overflowing. Well, maybe one thing. Can we rewind to last Saturday when I dyed my hair? Then things would be just about perfect.

Summer Daze

Summer is almost over on Planet Vernal. It gets dark right around 7:30 and the temps at night are in the 40's and 50's. If you ask me, summer went by way too fast. These pics were taken about 10 minutes from my house at a place called Red Fleet.

Aqua girl here is actually my 10-year-old niece, Shane. We brought her and her twin sister, Reed, home with us after a trip to Las Vegas. They stayed with us for two weeks and even though one of them suffered some pretty serious bouts of homesickness the first couple of nights, I think they had a really good time.

Since it was fairly late in the day when we finished our swim, we decided it would be easiest to just BBQ some burgers at home. Reed overheard this and said to me "Are we going to cook burgers on the grill and listen to music and eat outside and sit in lawn chairs and talk about the good old days?!" When I told her that was EXACTLY what we were gonna do she said "Oh my gosh! I've wanted to do that my WHOLE LIFE!"

So just to up the ante, Superman and I pulled out the tent, let the girls outfit it with air mattresses, blankets, flashlights, stuffed animals and board games and they spent the majority of their nights giggling in the backyard under the stars. It made me want to be a kid again. (sigh).

The girls LOVED the dogs and were completely fascinated by IZ's pet rats. Yes, I said rats. Two of them. One of whom is HUGE! We're talking large kitten huge. And the other one had an ear problem and always has her head sideways. She's our sideways rat. She's much smaller and actually kinda cute...kinda. The last night the girls were here, Reed brought the small rat into the backyard and our Great Dane, Cleo came over for a sniff. Reed, not knowing any better held the rat out to Cleo thinking, I don't know, that Cleo might lick it or something. But no...faster than any of us could react Cleo had the rat in her jaws. You could have heard my shriek for miles, which caused Cleo to just as quickly release her hold on the poor little thing. I was seriously expecting a headless rat but THANK GOODNESS!!! the rat was in one piece and just fine. I almost had a heart attack.

We did lots of fun things this summer, in between Superman's grueling work schedule. Lots of BBQ's. Lots of time hanging out with our friends. A couple of road trips. One to Las Vegas where we didn't win ANY money. Oh wait, that was just like the last trip to Vegas. We DONATED! To the cause....of....hmmmm....

Anywho, I'll just share some more pics of Red Fleet since it pretty much sums up the summer for us and the kids. Enjoy!

LT, Reed and Shane on the rocks at the lake shore.

The whole family, except photographer me, Stella, Superman, LT, Shane, Bre (IZ's BFF), Reed and IZ.

Stella's graceful dive.

Beautiful Stella.

Reed's Cannonball!

Bre and IZ

Reed, Shane & LT

My Superman

Shane, Reed, LT

Superman's SPLASH!!

Hope everyone had a WONDERFUL SUMMER!

It All Started with Ricky Turpin

This is Superman's third oldest daughter, who I am going to call Stella from here on out. She will hate that but I love it so she'll have to get over it! She is the oldest of our children living at home. The two girls on each side are her very best friends. As I was taking these pictures I couldn't help thinking about my own BFF's from back in the day. I have known and loved some of those girls since I was in kindergarten, 30 plus years ago. And I love them just as much today as I did back then.

I still remember Julie walking into my classroom. Ricky Turpin had punched me in the stomach over swing rights on the playground so I was the only one in from recess and in walks this girl in pink overalls, sucking on her fingers, crying. The teacher had her sit next to me on the rug while she and Julie's mom chatted. I, being shy myself, somehow got up the courage to say hello.

Julie was married at 15, a mom at 16 and divorced before she turned 18 years old. She has suffered at the hands of abusive husbands, given up twin babies for adoption and all told, given birth to SIX children. She is now a grandmother of a gorgeous bouncing baby boy and still has a 6 year old girl tugging on her apron strings at home. Who would have thought that her life would take such twisted turns and bounce over such rugged roads but through it all she has never allowed our friendship to fade away. No matter where we are living, our situations in life, good or bad, she has always managed to find me. She is brave, she is strong, she has been to hell and come out the other side and she is my friend. And I love her more than she will ever know.

Then there is Robin. Robin Hood, to be exact. Her father had a sense of humor and Robin had to learn to cope. I personally LOVED that her name was Robin Hood but then I'm not the one who had to carry it. The way she coped was by being the most sarcastic, the most FUNNY person I have ever met in my life. NOBODY else in this world has ever been able to take the absurdities that life has thrown our way and turned them into something bearable with as much ease and quick wit as she did. I learned to appreciate the fine art of dry humor and sarcasm from Robin and I will NEVER be as good at it as she is. Robin was a hard rockin', big haired, smart-ass exterior that covered a shy and sensitive heart. She graduated from high school a year early and we lost touch for almost twenty years. But when we finally spoke on the phone again this summer, it was like that twenty years never happened. She is my sister of the heart, my kindred spirit. I will NOT lose you again, Robin, EVER! You're stuck with me till the end of time.

Then Shari. The most shy girl I had ever met. Sweet, lovely but had no idea how wonderful she really was. Shari introduced me to Elvis Presley and Fabian. We had sleepovers ALL THE TIME stayed up late to watch Headbanger's Ball. She got me interested in horror movies and greek mythology. Her daddy played guitar and sang us old fifties tunes and I'm sure she thought it was "SO EMBARASSING!" but I thought it was totally cool.
Because of her own father's addictions, Shari too struggled with her own. But she is clean now, living with a great guy and sounds happier than I've ever heard her. She told me that I was her friend when no one else would be but I wouldn't know anything about that. I truly loved Shari then and I still do now. Anybody who thought themselves too good to be her friend really robbed themselves of something special. She is just as wonderful today as she was then and I hope she knows how much her friendship means to me.

Kim, shy, sweet, came from a broken home, just like me. We camped together, went boating together, built a club in a dirty old cellar in her mom's backyard. She was the girl who understood where I was coming from when I had to tell people that I had two mom's and two dad's and half sisters and that even though we didn't CRY over it, there was still this unspoken stigma attached and she GOT THAT!

Kim married her high school sweetheart and against all odds, they are still married, have a BEAUTIFUL house full of kids and one son serving a church mission. She rocks! She really does. Way to go, Kim.

Monique, pretty, stylish, had HUGE HAIR!...HUGE! What was UP with that?! Always dressed immaculate, always had every hair Aqua Net-ed into place. She taught me how to do my make-up, take pride in my appearance. Was constantly dressing me up, like her own personal makeover barbie doll. Monique decided she wanted to be my friend and basically adopted me. Her family became my family and I was treated by her and her parents like one of their own. Monique wrapped her arms around me when I felt all alone in the world. She heard my confessions and refused to judge. We dried each others tears and lifted each other up when it seemed like the people around us only wanted to push us down. And I still can't eat a smothered burrito with cheese and not think about her.

Monique met her husband fifteen years ago after I introduced them. He was the complete opposite of what I considered her type and never imagined in a million years that he would be the ONE. But she wanted him from the moment she laid eyes on him and that was the end of it. They are still married, he adopted her son from a previous relationship and raised him as his own. Together, they had two more children. She is now the proud grandmother (AMAZING!) of a baby girl and sure enough, Monique is already dressing her up in the latest fashions. I love you Neeky! Thank you for your friendship! You know I am always here if you need me.

Raeshell, I have already written about you on my blog. There is just too much to say in just one paragraph. Thank you for the wild times, thank you for the life lessons, thank you for being there when I needed you and thank you for being there now cuz I never really stopped needing you.

Jenny, we have been living with each other for 20 years. We have helped raise each other's children, stood by each other through our successes and our failures, fought and made up, knocked each other down a notch or two when it was needed and given each other the strength to keep going when we didn't think we could take anymore. I think my stepmom summed it up best when I told her that I was moving to Planet Vernal and she said "I'm so happy for you!" and I said "Happy for me and Superman?" and she said "No! I'm happy for you and Jenny!" I couldn't live without you in my life. I wouldn't know how. You are more my sister than my friend and you know we'll still be confessing and fighting and nagging our husbands and driving our children bonkers together when we're eighty years old.

As for my Stella, my IZ, my Little Tomato and all of your beautiful friends, all I can say is, HANG ON! It's gonna be a bumpy ride! But as long as you've got each other, you can weather any storm. The friendships you forge at this time in your life will transcend time, men, children, loss, marriage, divorce, miles. It's a beautiful thing. A miracle really. There will never be a person in your entire life who will accept you, THE ENTIRE YOU, as much as your best women friends. Don't ever take it for granted. It's strong and it's mystical, held together by tears and laughter, shared experience and lots and lots of estrogen.

Legacy

"IN or OUT! IN or OUT!" That's what I remember hearing from my grandfather the most when I was little. Me, my brother and my cousins running in and out of the back door as we played games like hide and seek or cops and robbers. I found him to be imposing to say the least. Instead of being delighted by his giggling, squealing, precocious grandchildren, he was irritated by the sound of the screen door slamming and the feel of the hot air whooshing into his air conditioned comfort. He would sit right by the back door so there was no getting past him quietly if we needed a drink or had to go to the bathroom. We would open that screen door as gently as we could, thinking to slink past quiet as little mice but inevitably we would hear the crinkle of the newspaper he was reading and his hard and menacing voice say the words "IN or OUT!"

In his world, children were rarely seen and NEVER heard. My mother said that when she was growing up, if you answered with "what?" when he called your name, you were guaranteed a swat. You didn't say "what?", you just came and waited to hear whatever it was he needed from you.

Of course, he wasn't as bad as I imagined him to be. He was a born storyteller and I learned very early that the best way to get attention from him was to ask him about his grandma's life in the "olden days" or his time spent in the South Pacific during the war. I must have heard his stories a hundred times but I never grew tired of them. It was thrilling to have him pull me into his lap and begin to tell me about growing up in the Uintah Basin. About my tough as nails great great grandmother who raised him. Of the farm and his love of cars. Of meeting his father's family for the first time and how he was born in the bedroom of his family home in Duchesne, Utah. I never wanted those moments to end.

The truth is, I was in awe of my grandfather. To me, he was larger than life. There was nobody smarter, nobody tougher. Nobody had more life experience than he did. He was John Wayne in suitcoat and tie.

Years later, it was close to time for me to deliver my baby girl. I was living in an unfinished apartment, basically homeless, that had no running water of any kind. No carpet, just a wooden sub floor and it was built above a towing company and repo yard. I didn't know how I was going to take care of a baby in that place but I was determined to do it somehow.

My grandmother showed up one day and insisted that I come and stay with her. She would fix up the spare room for me and the baby and everything would be alright. Although I was grateful, I dreaded the thoughts of having a baby in the same house as my grandfather. What would he think of midnight crying and poopie diapers? If the screen door slamming bothered him, how in the world would he react to a screaming, caulicky infant?

But being a great grandfather suited him to a tee. I was constantly amazed by the gentleness in his tone and in his touch. If it concerned his granddaughter in any way, he wanted in on it. He would come home from work and make a beeline to whatever room she was in and coo and smile and laugh and hold and cuddle and love. He would dance with her in the living room and sing songs to her as they rocked in his big reclining chair. He would set her in her bouncy chair next to him on the grass and he would read her storybooks while they soaked in the sun. They even took their afternoon naps together. Where I tip-toed and spoke in whispers around my grandfather, IZ ran and screamed, twirled and sang, climbed all over him like a monkey and he couldn't get enough of it. He clapped and cheered at her smallest accomplishments and stuck up for her when I scolded her over some small transgression.

Eventually, IZ and I moved out of the house but my grandparents found an apartment that was two houses away from them. IZ was expected every morning for breakfast. She would slide the barstool over to the kitchen table next to her grandpa and they would eat cereal together and watch Looney Tunes on tv. He would listen while she babbled nonsense and act like everything she had to say was the most interesting thing he had ever heard. "Oh yeah?...You don't say..." They were each other's very best friend.

Grandpa brought IZ home a teddy bear after a business trip. It was a brown, homely little thing with a big red bow. At the time, she had a rather large duck named Sunny and the two were inseparable. They ate together, slept together, played dress up together...but when gramps gave IZ that bear, she had eyes for no other. That bear has been puked on, ripped, run over, sewed back together and gone through the washing machine too many times to count. It has only gotten uglier over the years but my 16 year old daughter still sleeps with him every night...because her grandpa, the most important man in her life, gave it to her.

My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few months ago. It has been agony to watch him struggle to place faces to names, to try to recall how he knows you or even if he knows you. To hear him repeat the same question over and over again and eventually not even be able to form a question. To see the frustration and fear on his face when you can't understand what it is he's trying to say. His struggles and those of my beautiful grandma are breaking my heart.
I am grateful that when he sees me he puts me together with living in the Uintah Basin. All of the stories he told me growing up originated in this place and for a long time after he didn't recognize most people, all I would have to do was tell him where I lived and his face would light up and understanding would dawn and for a little while he would know me again.

And then there is my IZ. My grandmother keeps pictures of all the kids and grandkids on the refrigerator. Several times a day, my grandfather stops and studies them, pointing..."I know them. That's so and so." Over time, he has come to forget most of the faces in those pictures but even now, when things have gotten so bad that some days he doesn't even know his own wife, he still points to my IZ and says "I know her."

And GOD, I miss him. I miss him so much. What I wouldn't give to hear the words "IN or OUT." What I wouldn't pay to hear him laugh again. To hear him say my name. To get just one more hug. And how do I help IZ through this terrible thing that is causing our family so much pain? I mean, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, all of these horrible things that bring such fear but Alzheimers? I wouldn't wish such a death on my worst enemy. It's like he is dead but his body still walks around. His spirit is stuck in a prison and his heartbeat is counting down his sentence.

So I try to think about the time I did get with my grandpa. Not as much as I wanted but probably more than most. How grateful I am that we got to share raising my beautiful girl. How blessed that we experienced her together. I learned so much about him and from him. Where before I was in awe of and a little bit afraid of him, now I idolize him. He is truly one of the greatest of men. He showed me love in the only way he knew how. By loving my IZ. And how lucky is she that my baby girl knew him so well and was loved by him so much. She got to see his tender side, his silly side, his mischevious and boyish side. I couldn't have picked a better father figure for a little girl whose real father had abandoned her. God knew that these two needed each other and God knew how much I needed him too.

He has almost disappeared from our life, this giant of a man I love so much. I am praying for him to be free of this dread disease. I want him to be in a place where he no longer struggles to communicate, where he is no longer afraid. I want him to be reunited with loved ones he has been separated from for so long. And I want the comfort of knowing that he no longer suffers and that he is watching over us, just waiting for the time when we will get to be with him again.

He will never really be gone. Not to me and certainly not to IZ. He has become so much a part of who she is and who she is going to be. I want her to recognize that part of herself. I want her to carry it with her always and treasure her memories of him as something precious. I want thoughts of him to bring her joy and not sadness.

As for me, he has given me unending joy, deep spiritual knowledge, laughter, a love of history and all things past and present. An appreciation for slowing down and enjoying the things that really matter before life passes you by and all is lost.

Because of him, I will appreciate my children more, yell at them less. I will take the time to pass on my stories and life lessons. I will cherish my future grandchildren and give them lots of hugs so they never forget what I smell like and the feel of my arms around them. I will laugh with them often so they will still hear me after I am gone. I will instill in them a need to experience the world, figure out life's mysteries and keep up a strong relationship with God. He has left me a truly wonderful legacy. I promise Grandpa, I will pass it on.

Mantra

Yes! I'm still here and going strong. Lots of things have been happening in my small world. BIG things! It's getting harder for me to contain and deal with everything life seems to be throwing my way. My depression comes and goes. High highs and low lows. I'm not sure if one can develop bipolar disorder at 37 years old but that's what I feel like sometimes, like I might be a little crazy.

On a high note, we got moved in to our new home and I am liking it more and more. My boss gave the entire shop crew a day off paid to bring their trucks, trailers and muscle to my house to help Superman and I move. It was great! I was humbled that he would do that for me and so grateful.

I have been getting things put away, walls painted, the yard cleaned up and ready for spring planting (I can't even tell you how nice it is to have a yard again) and am feeling quite peaceful about our decision to move. I was looking forward to Mother's Day in my new house. All I wanted was a trip to the nursery to buy flowers and to not have to do any dishes all day. I got both of these things and it was heavenly.

Just coming down from the Mother's Day high when I received the call that sent me spiraling back down to the bottom again. My Aunt Heidi, beautiful, sweet, always says "I Love You" with her trademark kiss on the cheek/hug. Always wanting to know that "everything is going good? everything is fine? Oh Lee, I'm just so happy for you, IZ is growing and is just so beautiful..." My aunt whom everyone loves is dead. Suicide. SUICIDE!!! How can that be? I don't understand it. I have been dealing with a roller coaster of emotion but overall I am just so so angry. How could she do it? I don't know. I don't understand. I never will understand.

I missed the funeral. It was many hours drive away. We were literally living out of boxes and had no money for gas, food, etc. So I missed it. I was told that the line at the viewing was out the door and around the block. Now guilt has been added to my anger at this whole bloody mess.

My father and brother called after the funeral to tell me that it was OK that I wasn't there. That they understood and they knew I was feeling bad and not to. Then they put my stepmother on the phone and for 30 minutes I listened to screaming, crying and lots of "Where were you? Out of all my kids I needed you there the most!" and I was HORRIFIED and wracked with guilt and could only repeat over and over again that I was sorry, SO SORRY!

Now I know that if I had been there, my presence would have hardly made a ripple but since I wasn't there, suddenly I was "the child needed there the most". I am a terrible person. A terrible daughter. I don't even know, at this point, what to do to make things better. I just don't even know. It's been over a month and I still don't know.

My kids are out of town right now. Two have gone to Las Vegas to stay with their aunties for 3 weeks and one has gone to my old home town to stay with friends and visit family. They are having a great time and I am really enjoying the break but miss them already. This has also given me time to get back into some healthy eating habits. It's a lot easier to eat healthy when I'm cooking for just me instead of 5 or 6. And my treadmill is actually getting a workout cuz I can come home from work and not have to pick up kids, go grocery shopping and make dinner every single day.

Superman and I have spent the down time working on the yard. It's looking nice and I like to just sit out there and look at the flowers. I know that sounds weird but I enjoy them a lot more knowing that I'm the one that put them in the ground and is helping them grow. I've never really been able to do that before and it makes me happy.

And I am so thankful...thankful for my wonderful children, my perfect (most of the time) Superman, my lovely little home with a beautiful yard. My flowers, my pets, the gorgeous weather and the fact that I have a good job and Superman is working right now when so many others are not.

I have also been speaking to a lot of old friends that I haven't talked to in a long time. Thanks to a certain social networking site, which is so not me and started out as a lark, I have found my old friends from grade school. They have reminded me of so many good things that I had forgotten about. How I could forget some of those wonderful memories is beyond me. But I have also found that I have meant more to these fabulous women than I ever knew. I didn't know that my friendship meant so much to them. I knew what they meant to me but I didn't know that I had impacted their lives like I did. It's been gratifying and I'm feeling so much more significant than I did before. I want to thank them for that. It just goes to show that we can influence, inspire, lift up, guide, give support and show love even when we don't know what we're doing. I just blundered through my childhood yet I made a difference in their lives. Thank you , my beautiful friends for helping me to see that. I love you all so much.

I know this is not a stellar post. I have so much to write about. It's all stored up in my head but it's been so long since I've posted I just wanted to let everyone know what's been going on in my world. I'm trying really hard to focus on the things that really matter.

My Superman and I were having a discussion about keeping things in perspective and counting our blessings and then he told me something I did not know. Every day when he's on his way to work he repeats to himself what he calls his Mantra. "I love my wife. I love my life. I love my health. I love my wealth. I love my children." No, it's not poetry but isn't that beautiful? That's his reminder of why he works so hard and what it's really all about.

I love my Superman.

I love my children.

I love my health.

I love my wealth.

I love my life.